Crowning Story

My hair in 2016, 2 months before I lost it to chemotherapy

My hair has seen many changes. I was bald until two, and by age three was a host to so many light brown curls that my mother claimed she could hardly get a comb through. During adolescence, getting my hair ready for school required skills equal to negotiating with a terrorist: I came armed with a curling iron, hairspray, and a hairdryer, but I always lost the battle. In college and early adulthood, I let my hair have it’s own way, and it knew best. It was my defining feature and could easily be used to pick me out of a crowd.

My hair only became more manageable with the hormones as five pregnancies ebbed and flowed. As I started my breast cancer treatment at age 41, I tried to preempt the shock of hair loss by cutting it short. My friend loaded me in her convertible and documented the process. By day 11 of treatment, my scalp was in such distress from the pending changes, I thought I would claw it to pieces. My daughter helped me brush out as much as we could that evening, and the next day another dear friend came with the clippers to relieve me of the rest.

After treatment, my hair grew back as thick as it had been, but since 2020, I have experienced massive changes. Chemotherapy can put women into early menopause, and this has taken quite a toll on the texture and thickness of my hair. I thought I would be going into my 50s with hair like the aunt in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the one who says, “Nikki, why you no come to do my hairs?!” Not so. My curls are gone, the strands are much finer, and I think I’m down by two-thirds in my hair volume.

I asked a friend to do a pre-treatment and mastectomy photo shoot back in the winter of 2016 because I wanted a record of what my body used to look like. Now, it serves as a reminder of how glorious my hair was. I’m blessed with a great stylist and I’m growing accustomed to my new hair, but continue to panic each time I see a stray hair on my shirt. I never had to worry in the past when I found one, I had so much to spare. I recall the proverb, “Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness,” and I practice gratitude for my life—not to mention hair dryer brushes and coconut hair serum from Trader Joe’s.

My hair now in 2022.